..έмотіoпŀєѕѕ...

Goodbye

2008-05-25T05:58:00.000-07:00

The sun scorches away
My body
My soul
As I lie here
Waiting...
For somebody
To come and
Take me in his arms...
Again...
My heart is heavy
Withered..
Almost Dead...
I no longer cry
On the outside...
I am nothing
Nothing but a lost soul
Wandering...
Crying...
Hopeless...
Walking a path..
I never dreamt
I would ever walk..
I am...
Destroyed...
But...
As the sun sets
On another sleepless night...
No more will this hand
Write poetry..
No more will this heart...
Find solace in writing...
This is it...
This is...

THE END

Ranting...

2008-04-19T03:44:00.000-07:00

Why do I get my hopes up
Kid myself that everything is gonna turn out okay
Why do I start to trust
That someone would come and take me away
I thought dreaming would help
But every time I get my hopes up
And watch them fall again

And that hurts more, hoping and then watching the hopes fall...

. . .

I just wish there was someone
Who'd understand how I feel
Someone who'd make me smile..
Like he used to

No. I'm not going to get my hopes up

But I guess I have

And I am once again a prisoner
To hope
And though I don't want to be
I'm a dreamer
I would wish everything to be alright
And I can pretend
But when reality hits me
I can't handle it

My life's messed up
Too messed up
I rant here cox there's no where else to rant now

Sometimes I break down and cry
And wish to sleep days away

I dunno why I'm not killing myself
I seriously don't
I know it would be so much better if I do.
At least then, people would be so much happier
That much is obvious
Since I am reminded again and again I am unneeded
I know
I know
But I can't help existing, okey?
Blame it on me that my life sucks and I am...
Well, whatever people hate me for

I know I should look on the bright side
There's always a bright side
Or so they say
Buh in this case, maybe there ain't
There really ain't

I'm not perfect
Have too many defects
I don't even try to correct my flaws though
Take me as I am

Love me or Hate me

I dunno why it's always "hate me" that people chose

Still, their choice
Can't help their judgmental ways
Wonder why no one really knows me

Well, they don't even try to know me...

The scars still hurt
Well, I want them to hurt
Physical pain is so much easier to control
Than this burning feeling inside of me
That's consuming mean

Again I ask, why ain't I killing myself?

No, I'm Not Fine...

2008-04-18T07:08:00.000-07:00

Crying, I fall to the ground
So lost, I pray to be found
Wandering, with no where to go
Wishing, I didn't have a morrow

Hoping, everything will be alright
Thinking, when I fall asleep tonight
I'll wake up to find
Fate for once was kind

Or maybe I'm just out of my mind

Looking, for a ray of light
Trying, not to give up the fight
Searching, for what I know is right
God almighty please give me might

Cox maybe, this is just a dream
Maybe, it ain't as harsh at it seems
And if I wake up tomorrow
Would I still be crying in sorrow?

Yeah, I can kid myself I'm dreaming. I can pretend all's okey. I'm fine. I'm alright. *nods head*

And if it weren't for my heart
This pain I could thwart
If it weren't for my soul
These tears I can control

And if it weren't for my body
I wouldn't feel this insecurity
If it weren't for my mind
I wouldn't be so confined

No, it's not alright. I'm not fine...yeah...

The Coldness Within

2008-04-18T05:06:00.001-07:00

i feel like i'm suffocatin
with the coldness pressin inside
nd with no one there to hear me
as i scream to be saved from
this prison that's inside me
my soul is bruised and cannot be
all that it was before
when i feel like cryin
i dnt let the tears flow
i am stupid and i am insane
i am weak nd i am small
i jus wish sumone out there wud find me
save me frm this cruel world
help me, help me escape
tho i wanna run away
i cannot leave my family behind
i cannot kill maself
the world is so unfair
tryin to be sumone buh
i am no one nd nuthin
nuthin buh a hopeless mess
utterin helpless prayers
feels like ma heart is bein stabbed
over n over by sumthin
tht doesnt want me to smile
or maybe tht sumthin is the coldness
thts inside of me
and cannot escape
lost my faith and lost my dreams
so broken tht m begginin to believe
happiness wasnt meant for me
this is how m supposed to be
all alone n so weak
with no one to care for me
no one who'd wanna spent his life with me
maybe m repeatin the same thing
over n over
sumone cum help me...
i need to let the tears out
i need sumone...
to hold onto
nd even when i open up
tell sumone how i feel
m pushed aside
maybe i shud kno by now
that this was how it was meant to be

(stupid poem? i kno.. i was out of my mind wen i wrote this, i was out of my mind wen i posted this..
m still out of my mind i guess...
buh who cares?!! )

..But I Am Raw

2008-04-17T07:39:00.000-07:00

Make me smile again
Come and drive away the pain
Take me away from the world
Help me escape from the cold
So hurt I feel I must die
Right here tonight as I lie
Weak and sobbing on my bed
Thoughts of you floating in my head
Hold me in your arms one last time
Tell me again you are mine
Don't let me fade away
But I don't think I can face a new day
Not now that you are not here
I wish some one would care
What would happen to me now
Inside I feel so hurt and raw

To all those who left... with the excuse of taking breaks... feels like none of you will come back, buh I hope you do. I guess you guys do know I'll always be waiting here, no matter what, always and forever, eh?

Just don't make me live this life alone...

How Do I?

2008-04-17T05:59:00.000-07:00

Here I am, once again. I'm torn into pieces. What's wrong what's wrong now? When you left I lost a part of me. And no one likes to be alone. Without you it's lonely. And I died inside the night you left me. We were meant to be. And the days feel like years when I'm alone. Why is everything so confusing? I'm always too late. Baby, you're the one I need tonight. My mind is gone. What ever's meant to be will work out perfectly. My tears I'll drown. And I'm in this thing alone. Baby come back to me. But you're still with me in my dreams. Without you it's lonely. A girl with a broken heart. Have I lost my mind? There's a light that I can't find. I can't unlove you. Tonight I just wanna be with you. This guilt trip that you put me on.. Broken inside. I'm spinnin round. And I don't want to talk about it. One regret from yesterday that just seems to grow with time. But part of me is gone. I cannot turn my back on someone who loves me too. It's hard to deal tih the pain of losing you every where I go. I'd give up everything, if only for your good. I should have never set you free. I've never felt like this before. You're still on my lonely mind.

Without you I am NOTHING

And tell me now
How do i live without you
I want to know
How do i breathe without you

(Note: this post is made out of random song lines I picked from my random stupid head. Dedication to a special (not random) guy out there...)

...And You're Gone Too

2008-04-17T03:33:00.000-07:00

I was left alone to die. Imagine my pain as I lay there, knowing as I did that there was no one to miss me, no one to hold, no one to kiss, and no one to love me. I'd scream out loud, asking what on earth I did to deserve such a punishment. Why won't anyone come and take me away from my nightmares? Why do you leave me here to die? Why would you do this to me? Why would you make me suffer such? The tears I cry drop to the floor, mixing with the blood of mine that surrounded me. Should the last breath escape my lips any moment now, I would be grateful. Grateful to leave behind this cruel little world. I hated knowing I was a waste of space. I hated knowing I was unneeded. I hated knowing I was all alone. But most of all, I hated that I had no one to hold, no one to love, and no one who'd love me back...

Where's the rainbow?
In the rough storms?
I've been waiting
For the rain to stop
Been hit by lightening
Thought I could handle it
Thought I would pull through
But-

Today I lost another
Who was dear to me
Seems like I've lost
All again
I thought you promised
You'd be there for me
But now you've left me
Crying in the pain

Now who can I turn to
When there's nothing to make me smile?
Now no one is there
To make it seem alright

And like the setting sun
Our love is fading
Into a canvas that's worn
Cruel is this parting

Can't you understand?
Why can't you?

You might be back
Tomorrow or day after
You might be back
A month or year later

But do you really expect me to be here?
Even suicide seems alright now..

I used to comfort myself
I still had you, brother
What went wrong?
Why'd you leave me here?

And tonight it's gonna be
Tears and more pain
I dunno why I'm living
I just wanna get this over with now...

Now that you've left me too, Umar... and now I have no one. No one but myself. It's not nice to feel like I'm all alone. Because no one wants me, eh? No one needs me. And not even a stupid damn poem can convey how I feel write now.

...I wish I didn't have a heart. Then maybe I could not feel this...

Escape

2008-04-15T02:01:00.000-07:00

Close my eyes and the world is peaceful
Nothing to care about, nothing to worry
Serenity surrounds me, extinguishing all senses
My heart is light without any burdens to carry

Open my eyes and I am shocked to see
The pain, the pain I cannot escape from
Like daggers they are surrounding me
Telling me of more tears to come

Turn around hopelessly seeking
A hand, a hand to hold me tight
Blindly looking around for a face
A face that would make stuff alright

Sobbing endlessly I fall to the ground
Nothing is there to help me
I wish, I wish that I could just
Die or find a way to flee

Still Holdin On...

2008-04-12T06:35:00.000-07:00

When I try to let you go
I try to think of you as a past
When I try to leave your hand
I try to believe that love don't last

But now I come to realize
You cannot be the past
For though I cannot see your eyes
Your heart I still trust

To you I am attached in a way
I can not even begin to explain
So I lift my arms tonight and pray
That you'll come back to me again

I can only hope for a future.. with you and me... for true to my words, I'll forever be... alone if you don't come back to me...

A Friend...

2008-04-10T06:50:00.000-07:00

Though the skies are gray
You make everything okay
You are my rainbow
When the rain won't stop

Though the days are long
You make me strong
You're the hand that's
Guiding me through and through

In your embrace
I find solace
Never thought it possible
To find a friend

But now you're here
I cannot believe
I've been blessed with
A miracle so rare

This is dedicated to my friend, S, who stuck by me when everything else fell..

Broken Angel

2008-04-05T02:06:00.000-07:00

Searchin..

Can I find what I'm looking for?
I do not know.. but...

I think it's time to move on..
No matter how hard that maybe
I think it was all just.. an illusion
That he wove

"Let's make an illusion..
..I'll make you.. disappear..."

He took her by the hand
She knew he would understand
That she was bearing him her heart
And that she wanted a new start
She wanted to forget the past
She wanted him to be the first
That she had let in to her world
She waned him to drive away the cold
She trusted him and she believed
That he would never ever leave
But he was smart and he was clever
She made her think he was hers forever
He had her woven into a dream
That was more real than reality would seem
In her blind faith she would hope
And with him by her side she would cope
The rest of her life was bizarre and unreal
He made her feel all she wanted to feel
He was everything she wanted and needed
And his every word was what she heeded
Too bad she forgot reality
How broken she is is a real pity
She should never have trusted
She should have had him bested
But no, she loved him
She obeyed his every whim
And at the end of the day
On her bed she lay
A lost little girl with no one to turn to
A lost little angel with no where to go
So vulnerable and weak as he had made her
Breaking all promises he had one day left her
Thrown away the heart that she had given to him
So lovingly had she always stood by him
But now her heart was broken, her faith was gone
She was left to cope on her own
She was nothing more than a life gone by
All day long she would sit alone and cry
Wondering if the illusion of them had been real
Wishing that her love for him she could not feel

Turned to Dust...

2008-03-28T07:55:00.000-07:00

walkin in the ocean breeeze
sumone come help me please
need sumthin stable to stand on
i wanna kno i aint alone

thinkin about a past
and a love that did nto last
my heavy heart shattered again
take me away from this pain

in my memory
there was time when i was happy
in a world where he was here
now my world is cruelly bare

what's the point of life?
now i realize
i was all alone to begin with
i guess he was another myth

feed me lies again
let me drown in the pain
crying my eyes out now
i need to get away from this sorrow

time and time over and over
i remember how it felt to be together
i wished it wud last forever
buh wishes cum tru.. never

i guess i shud learn to let go now
i gess i shud forget i knew
what happiness truly felt
and how he made me melt

In Your Arms

2008-03-28T07:45:00.001-07:00

A lame attempt at an update...

I see you
You smile
Everythin's fine
For a while

You come here
You touch
I freeze cox
I love you so much

I've never felt such
With anybody else
I never felt much
Like what you make me feel

You come here
And hug
Wrap me so close
It was a bliss once in a dream

You arms around me
You fingers against mine
Our lips were perfect
Made for each other

Hangin on to you
You'd wrap us close
Say you won't go away
Seein you brightens up my day

I fell in love
Once and for all
Forever yours
Believe it or not

I feel it in the air
The way you always care
Everythin else was wrong
But with you I am strong

Never mind the world
You drive away the cold
I'd always love to be
In your arms

But that was all in the past...

Cox I need You

2008-03-20T08:46:00.000-07:00

My dear, etll me
Tell me before I loose my sanity
Are you gonne
Come back to me?
I dunno why
Everytime I try to talk
With another guy
I feel so guilty
It's not like I'm chheatin on you
We are not even together
Why does it feel so wrong to look
SOmeone else in the eye?
Is this how I am supposed to waste my life?

Ever since the day you left me
Everything has turned upside down
No need to say it once again
Buh I've been cloaked in my pain
Tried not to let he world see my miery
Buh they all know
You are no longer there
You, you no longer care

Drunk in this sadness
I wish it would end
Stop feelin guilty
Stop sufferin now
How can I ever tell you
That I am hopelessly broken without you
I cannot even breathe
I am chocking on you and me
Baby you come back to me right now..

Everytime I try to pull away
From memories of you and me
I am pulled back again
My heart keeps refusin to let youi go
My brain is disagreein
Says I shud stop thinkin about

Is it so wrong
That you flit through
Everyone one of my dreams
Is it so wrong
That I cannot help but remember
What it felt like to be
You and Me
Is it so wrong
That I can't move on
That I just wanna hold you forever

You turned your bakck on me, I know
I shouldn't take this abuse
But what to do
I still love you like before
I feel so insane
pathetic and weak without you
Hopelessly broken
My heart is sick
Cryin for you
Every night,,,

Every moment of everyday
I wish this love would go away
Why cannot you come back and stay
My dear?

Remember all teh things we had
You won't get anythin like it again
Please stop this pain for both of us
And get together again

Start luvin me again
Start wantin me again
Start needin me again

Cox i need you...

Without You

2008-03-19T08:24:00.000-07:00

When you were around
I knew who to turn to
When I needed comfort

When I was upset or mad
You;d wipe away my tears with your hand
You used to make me smile - like no other

But now you're gone
And everything i slipping away
I'm standin on nuthin buh air

Even my friends are against me
They can't handle wah I have become
So pathetic and weak without you

Everything I knew
They are meaningless now
Oh, if only you were here

Listening to the same songs
Trying not to cry
Is this how life was meant to be?

No longer able to
String the words together
And write a poem

Cox I've been so broken
Without you here within me
Come back to me
Come back now...

Everythin I Needed...

2008-03-16T15:19:00.001-07:00

Ever since the day you walked away
I've been sitting here so broken
With my heart in my hands and with tears in my eyes
With my wings suddenly broken
Cannot even begin to understand
Everything seems so out of place
Tryin to reach out for your hand again
Tryin to read your face in vain

I'm tryin to not let these tears show
I'm tryin to keep my fears low
After everythin we've been through
I cannot believe we've come to this now

I've been watchin your back as you walked away
Tryin to say words that just might make you stay
I wonder what went wrong between us
Our love was strong, how could you turn back on it?

Was it just my imagination
When I thought I heard you call my name again?
I thought you were gonna save me from this pain
But my dreams are no more
And my hopes are fading
Since the moment I let you go
I've slowly been dying

Baby you were everything I needed
Baby you are all I ever wanted

Once Again

2008-03-16T05:31:00.000-07:00

Vulnerable in my new hole
I wonder whether I will ever be whole
My heart lying shattered around me
And the whole world of pain ahead of me
Left alone by those I loved
Left alone by those I cared
Afraid to trust once again
Trying to shake off the intolerable pain
My head in my hands
I cry to stand
When I know I've really fell
Down into the bottom of cruel hell
Once again my smiles are fake
I'm bearing more than I can take
I no longer wish to be understood
For it would not do any good
I've gone insane, out of mind
My broken heart I'm trying to find
Thrust into a world I've known
Once again quite on my own
Though I prayed it would never be this again
Now all my hopes and dreams are drained

Your Mistake

2008-03-12T04:34:00.000-07:00

Where were all the promises now?
That you made to me that day?
In case you forgot
You just threw them away

You left me so broken
It was so hard to think straight
After all we had, you've gone and left me
Now I'm trying to get mad

How could you?

We were friends
We were more
We were everything
Others hoped for
Together we were
Beautiful adn strong
But now you're gone
You've done wrong

All the promises you made
That you said you won't break
You have shattered them
Oh, that was your mistake

Dedicated to all my friends in Male' who never bother about me now.

When You Left Me

2008-03-12T03:53:00.000-07:00

This is a request from a friend of mine. Another update, just to update this thing.

I'm walking in the rain
Trying not to look behind
I'm thinkin about you again
Can't get you out of my mind

All the moments that we shared
I keep revisiting them over time
I'm counting away the years
Listening to the soft clock chimes

The day you left me
My world turned black and white
I've been so lonely
Since you slipped out of sight

You used to make everything okey
But when you're gone
I can't even get through a day
I feel so alone...

Friends...

2008-03-12T03:41:00.000-07:00

This is something random I came up with in Maths class. Since this blog hasn't been seeing any updates... here it is.

Friends...
That was what we were
But now everything
Feels so different

Nice...
That was you
But now you've gone
You're being so cold
It hurtz...

Cool...
That was what you did
You never minded it
When I talked mad

Warm....
That was your heart
Friendly and welcoming ti made you
What's wrong now?

Gone...
That's what you've done
You went and left me
All alone

Sad....
That's how I feel
So rare were friends like you
But now you're gone

Dedicated to a very close friend of mine who started ignoring me recently.

Thank You For The Light

2008-03-03T06:07:00.001-08:00

I had long given up on life
Was nothing more than flesh and bone
Was nothing but an empty soul
Lost and wandering quite alone

The desert suited me the best
Cox the world was far away
I never cared about the rest
I just wasted my days

I believed it'd be dumb to try
To love someone again
For love transforms into need
And need brings in pain

I'd walk alone and wonder
Thoughts running inside my head
I had no emotions to bother me
Little did I know that I was dead

But then you came into my life
So slowly I never knew
Until the day I felt the love
That was growing within for you

When you closed the doors
That hurt the most
I anticipated happiness
Yet I feared the worst

When you opened the new doors
And shone in thy light
Dreams began to take shape
As fear took flight

When you wrapped your arms around me
And said you are here to stay
I began to trust once again
I never want you to go away

My love has grown so deep
That when the day comes for me to draw my last breath
My love would linger, the faintest pleasure
That you will feel after my death

How Does It Feel

2008-02-19T04:09:00.000-08:00

How does it feel
To wear a smile
Tell me...
Is it different from-
Faking it?

How does it feel
To be someone else
Tell me...
Is it different from-
Being me?

How does it feel
To laugh in a crowd
Tell me...
Is it different from-
Sitting Alone?

How does it feel....
Tell me....
Is it the same?

Kill Me

2008-02-17T05:14:00.001-08:00

there is nothing so cold
as the hole in my heart
nothing so cruel
as the pain tearing me apart
tear my skin from my bones
drain the blood from my veins
kill me slowly, not harshly
let my blood rain
for it would not hurt
not as much as this
so kill me now and kill me quick
and i beg of you, please
kill me with your anger
kill me with ur sorrow, with ur pain
i would not yell, nor would i complain
hurt me till i'm completely slain...
tear the skin from my bones...
beat me down, kick me hard
numb me from all this pain
tear me to little shards

please...

It's Eating Me

2008-02-17T04:54:00.000-08:00

And i just need someone
To hold myself onto
To cry away the pain
And talk to my fears to
And even as i stand alone
No tears would spill
But my heart is pounding
An unrythemic drill
And the coldness
Has enveloped me
So much I close my eyes
And cannot see
And all i can do
Is wish it'd be better
That somehow everything
WIll not turn worse
And like nails on a chalkboard
The scary melody
Is slowly, murderously
Eating me

It Cannot Be Helped...

2008-02-17T03:42:00.000-08:00

And I feel sick to the heart
Pain is tearing me apart
The blood pulsing in my veins
Is turning black within
And the sickness inside is making me
Open my eyes to what I don't want to see
And the coldness in my chest
Is putting me to an ultimate test
And my last breath has left me
I'm singing myself to sleep
Knowing I won't wake up on the morrow
I'm killing myself into the sorrow
And I won't even stop to say goodbye
Cox that would be too hard, even if i try
And as I cry, trying to stop myself
What cannot be helped, cannot be stopped....

Pain and Loneliness

2008-02-17T03:36:00.001-08:00

This pain is inside me
And it hurts like hell
The loneliness has engulfed me
To do what it shall

And I've embraced them both
With warm welcome arms
Cox when they're with me
I come to no harm

It's only when I let go
That I grow sadly weak
And my attempts at life
Seem pitifully bleak

It's loneliness and pain
That make me who I am
But from today forth
Things will never be the same

Cox they make me strong
And no, it ain't wrong
Don't tell me it's a mistake
This is a risk I'm willing to take

And to those who have known pain all their lives... it doesn't hurt anymore...

Don't Die Into This

2008-02-16T05:39:00.001-08:00

Life is in turmoil
How are you handling it?
Blocking out company
Freaking out as seems fit?
Shutting out the whole big world
And lying alone, lone and cold?

Baby, this is just a phase
Stay strong, it's bound to pass
Don't kill yourself today
If you can't get it right
Try again another time
Why give up when you can always try?

Don't kill yourself into this
Stay strong, look up
Don't be afraid to cry
Let the world see the hurt
All that you hide underneath
Cox it will all be worth it

Hurt Again

2008-02-16T02:57:00.000-08:00

It's so cold
Squeezing from every side
Heavy heart counting down
The days of my life
Grey clouds above
Raining down below
Soaking me to the skin
Lightning struck too
Everything is gloomy
Depressing at worst
Life's a film of black of white
Bright colours cost
Deep inside is pain
And outside
Hurt again

Look This Way...

2008-02-15T06:45:00.000-08:00

Won't you stop to wonder
What you're doing to me?
Take a moment off your busy life
And see the pain you're causing me

It won't do you any harm
Cox you close your eyes
To what you don't want to see
But if you look this way
And open your eyes for once
You'd be seeing plenty

Cox you're destroying me
You're making me cry
I'm self-destructing
Because of you
And I'm dying inside
Pain in every breath
Tearing me apart
All thanks to you

Dedicated to RSW

Hoping Everything Would Be Okey

2008-02-15T06:30:00.000-08:00

I am standing alone
I am on my own
I am holding myself-
for warmth

I feel so lost
With a dying heart
Standing on a road -
Unknown

(chorus)And I've been crying
I've been trying
I've been searching for a face
And I've been hoping
I've been dreaming
That everything would be okey

I wish I knew
What lies ahead
I wish you'd care
To tell me

And while I fall
With a heavy heart
I wish you'd reach out
And catch me

(repeat chorus)

And deep within
I'm falling apart
Slowly dying
In my heart

Hold me close
Give me the breath I lost
And give me life
again

(chorus repeat)
And I've been hoping
I've been praying
That everything would be okey

Why?

2008-02-15T05:44:00.000-08:00

Why is everyone doubting me?
Why is everything used against me?
Why is it always me
When I don't want it to be?
Why is no one listening?
What on earth is happening?
When I fall asleep tonight
I pray I wake up alright
My heart is slowly killing me
Inside I am suffocating
Into this abyss I am falling
And a name I am calling
Will this pain ever stop?
All I know is it does not
Like needles from every side
Is being pressed inside
Blood of mine falling away
Inside my head these words I say
Won't you come take me away?
In this world I don't want to stat
This pain is killing me
It is deep within me
I need a sanctuary
That is not within
I need a place to hide
Cox I'm dying inside
No one is listening
No one is caring
I'm left alone in a crowd
And I'm crying out loud
I'm holding out my hand
Wishing someone would understand
And would take me in his arms
Hold me close to his warmth
Wipe away my tears
Keep me away from my fears
Protect me from the cold eyes
Protect me from others cruel lies
Life has never been like this
Right now, something is amiss
Life today is living hell
Burning down my protective shell
And I'm crying, I'm sobbing
I'm tired of trying
I'm falling, I'm screaming
And inside I am slowly dying...

Follow Your Heart

2008-02-03T06:55:00.001-08:00

I seem to be falling deeper

In to the abyss than I ever did

And I seem to hold in my chest and heart

More secrets than I ever hid

I seem to float above the ground

With no where else to go

Trying to find a stable rock

Or a sign post that would show

A way ahead into the future

A way that’s best for me

A way that would lead me forth

I don’t want to look back, not me

I seem to have lost my mind

Somewhere along the way

But all the better, I don’t need it

I do all what my heart says

Dear Bro....

2008-01-13T22:22:00.000-08:00

a source of comfort you are to me

the best little brother you would ever see

bringing with you lots of joys and smiles

happiness you bring would stretch for miles

always a person I can count on to be

whenever and wherever I’m in need of thee

the day I met you I was so very lucky

thank you, dear brother, for being there for me

I doubt I can give you enough gratitude

But here I write to you a little tribute

Thanking you for all you’ve done for me

And wanting to tell you, I’ll always be there for thee

Be kind and stay courageous

Dear brother of mine

In my heart forever you will

Always shine

Princess Kelly

2008-01-06T07:16:00.000-08:00

There was once a princess fairy

With soft blonde bangs

She didn’t look scary

For she lacked any fangs

Her hair was silky

Her eyes the darkest brown

Her skin was creamy

And on her head was a crown

She was short in height

But very very smart

She never gave up a fight

And she conquered many hearts

Her kingdom was in the clouds

For she ruled the sky

She would make beautiful sounds

But she never would lie

Her parents named her Kelly

Hoping she would be kind

And she’ll be the best ally

You ever would find

This poem was a request from two of my little sisters. So here you go, Ino and Ten-Ten. Enjoy. =^_^=

Welcome, 2008

2008-01-03T01:33:00.000-08:00

It’s a new year

It’s finally here

It’s a joy to share

In the new year’s fare

Hear the drums beating

For all are celebrating

And we sit anticipating

A year of new beginnings

Yesterday’s of the past now

Today’s miracles, know

For it’s what TVs show

With laughter all in a tow

The fireworks are still exploding

High up in the sky this morning

And new lessons we’ve started learning

And more gifts we’ve started yearning

But let’s not forget last year

Of it’s tales we must hear

Even if it’s gone, keep it near

And to it’s advice, give your ear

2008, oh what a day!

It doesn’t sound like any other

Now let’s grasp hands as partners

As we walk forwards together

Within Me

2008-01-03T01:29:00.000-08:00

A part of me is rising

Another gently falling

I feel so cold and lost

It pains and hurts the most

I feel really lonely

Myself is broken solely

Nothing is going right

No happiness shines bright

I feel at the edge of bursting

Emotions within me are building

Sometimes all I want to do is cry

I hate the fact that I have to lie

I wonder why I’m so alone

I’ve tried to be happy, but I’m forlorn

I don’t need to see who’ll understand

For now, no one cares to lend a kindly hand

I Miss You, My Dear

2008-01-03T01:27:00.000-08:00

Every heart beat

Is a melody sweet

Every wet tear

A story to hear

Honey, I really miss you

It pains and hurts me so

I cannot help but think of you

You haunt every beautiful dream too

So far away you seem to be

When we don’t meet it pains me

Second’s away from you is pain

And days without you agony again

Painful

2008-01-03T01:26:00.000-08:00

Painful is loneliness

As I sit here in darkness

Wishing someone would understand

No doubt what I need

Is not always what I get

As for now, it’s just a gentle hand

Needless to say

Hear if you may

How everything’s going downhill

Tears I’ve cried

Way’s I’ve tried

But happiness is still a nil

The Emptinesss Within

2008-01-03T01:23:00.000-08:00

A horrible emptiness

Enclosed in darkness

Searches for an escape

But with no happiness

Nor any gladness

It cannot pass the solid drape

Coped up for so long

With only one horrible song

It cannot find a melody sweet

Given up has it hope

Hanging on a single rope

Searching for an incense heat

No sun to bring in light

No might to stand and fight

A soulless mind just wandering

Some things are meant to be

You only need to see

The emptiness within drifting

Missing You

2008-01-03T01:21:00.000-08:00

Alive in my heart and soul

Are sweet memories of you

You seem to be always in mind

No matter what I try to do

I want to say I really miss you

In a way I cannot express now

It makes me hurt deep inside

I miss you and I want you to know

This Life

2008-01-03T01:20:00.000-08:00

Falling down an endless abyss

With nothing but faint memory amiss

Ice cold water pelting hard

Another one of life’s many cards

Walking alone with not one care

Sharing more than one’s own fare

Sitting still, wondering

Thinking hard, pondering

Life is harsh and painful too

Fate is something not to sue

Agony comes and goes

As well as many foes

Friendship is the true battle field

More powerful than any old shield

Loneliness and solitude lone enemies

Making our brows fold and crease

Tomorrow’s something not to come

As today we sit at ease and hum

Yesterday’s fun is no longer

Today’s pain more clearer

Melancholy

2008-01-03T01:19:00.001-08:00

Today’s no different

Though I hoped it maybe

For even now, as I type

All I feel is lonely

I feel so lost

Forlorn and abandoned

I’m standing in a crowd

But I stay neglected

You don’t know how it’s like

When no one understand

And the one person you can talk with

Makes your life a living hell

Lonely

2008-01-03T01:17:00.000-08:00

I feel painful loneliness

Few would really understand

My path is lost in darkness

I’ve met my limit’s end

I no longer know who I am

Or what purpose I have of living

So quietly I didn’t know it came

Yet I feel I no longer am being

My heart is squeezed so many times

I doubt there’s liquid left to heal

I’ve waited for something many a clock chimes

But things no longer are real

All alone in the cold

I feel I can no longer bear

With no one to hold

And living with endless fears

Many a nights tucked away in bed

I bathe in liquid tears

My quiet sobs of grief and pain

Sadly no one hears

Everyday I wait

Hoping for something great

But now I fear it’s too late

For near everything I’m starting to hate

Miles Away

2008-01-03T01:15:00.001-08:00

I’m seeking a warmth
That’s miles away
That I am unable to reach
At this time of day
The warmth gives me strength
Everything I need
It gives me faith
But it’s miles away
Miles away is the warmth
That I long for everyday
Miles away is the warmth
That I wish I could have
Makes me think of fate
With his plans and his schemes
And how he parted our ways
So we meet only in dreams
Can’t you feel me suffer?
Away from the heat and light
It’s way too much to bear
But I still keep up the fight
Maybe one day we’ll meet again
The heat that succumbs all pain
The day seems so far away
Just as you’re miles away…

Friends

2008-01-03T01:08:00.000-08:00

We spent together one whole year

And now to part, doesn’t seem fair

We built memories filled with laughter and fun

We were together, all as one

We used to speak of all our dreams and fears

And now to me, you’ve all grown dear

We shared joys and one too many smiles

And now we’re apart within many miles

I dunno whether you’ll remember me (=P)

But we’ll leave that for fate to see

Right now, I wish to say I miss you all

To deliver this message, I don’t really need to stall…

to Yum and Manaa

SEARCHING

2008-01-02T05:15:00.000-08:00

When you’re weak
It maybe strength that you seek
Or you can let yourself lie
Weak forever till you die

But today I’ve got wings
Soaring high, I discard things
Searching for the strength that I seek
Something strong and unique

I dunno where it can be
But I hope it will wait for me
I’m searching, as you can see
Flying on love I’ve for thee

UnAnswered Questions

2008-01-02T05:09:00.000-08:00

I’m treading a path
With doubts in my mind
Trying to find an answer
That would explain
Everything that’s misty
Everything I don’t understand
Don’t ask me how I feel
All I need is a helping hand
I dunno why
And neither do you
There’s small comfort
In that knowledge too
This is getting crazy
It’s driving me nuts
But the questions need answers
That I still can’t unearth
Maybe I’m on the wrong path
But there’s little light to see
Everything is so dark
Or the problem’s just me…

Can I?

2008-01-02T04:20:00.000-08:00

Neither in poems
Nor in words
Can I write what I feel right now
It’s a mixture of stuff
That’s having me confused
I’m carrying a burden that’s having me stoop real low
Everything’s a mess
Nothing’s going right
Some things inside me are meeting their doom
What I wouldn’t give
To have all this end too
If only light would begin to bloom
All too soon a new beginning will start
All I need is a little courage in my heart
I know I ain’t alone, but I still feel so
Can I go through with this and be happy too?

You Are The Reason

2007-11-11T22:37:00.001-08:00

You are the reason why
The tears stop flowin
You are the reason why
The flowers started bloomin
You are the reason why
The darkness reached an endin
You are the reason why
I've started livin
You are the reason why
Life found new meanin
You are the reason why
I keep on tryin
You are the reason why
There's no nyd of cryin
You are the reason why
I've started smilin
You are the reason why
I don't regret love
You are an angel
God sent from above

Time

2007-11-10T09:31:00.000-08:00

It seems like an enemy
The purpose of time
That flows so free
Along with a familiar chime

Sometimes it seems
It's stopped it's journey
To stop and torture
Whomever it please

Sometimes it would
Run way too fast
When we dread tomorrow
Today doesn't last

But I know that time
Is old and wise
It understands better
What we cannot otherwise

Happiness In Tears

2007-11-03T06:38:00.001-07:00

In this realm of a world
Few pleasures come soaring by
While sorrow we think is raining
Hard from the cloudy sky

We never seem to realize
That happiness is everywhere
We just haven’t learned to look yet
With determined devotion and care

Maybe we never will understand
The mysteries of joys and tears
Yet we can take pleasure in enjoying
The bliss we’re given to share

In every tear, if we look we find
A diamond jewel shining proud
A beauty everlasting in hearts
A silver lining in a grey cloud

A Friend Like You

2007-10-17T02:39:00.000-07:00

To Manaa, with lotz of luv from the heart....

A friend like you
Is hard to find
Full of value
Purer than a gold mine

A friend like you
Is always there
One to count on
To wipe away a tear

A friend like you
Is always around
You’re on of the best
That I’ve ever found

A friend like you
To bring back smiles
From joyful memories
And numbers dialed

A friend like you
Would never go away
But will stay by my side
Every single day

A friend like you
I am grateful to have
Thank you, Manaa
For all you gave

Don't You Understand?!

2007-10-16T10:08:00.000-07:00

I feel confused at how you treat me
The way it hurts, do you not see?
You always were one I trust
I used to tell you of every gust
But full of my self, you think I am
For every little thing, I am to blame
Proud and vain, you call me sometimes
Of every insult, I am begrimed
For fun you say, but don’t you see?
They way you treat, like I am crazy
It hurts you know, though I dare not tell
And these feelings of mine, I’ll soon expel….

In Darkness....

2007-10-14T09:53:00.000-07:00

I cannot see the stars tonight
There doesn’t shine forth enough light
I cannot find a cave to hide
While demons seem to tear me inside

The path I tread is lost to sight
Tonight I cannot carry on the fight
I want to curl up away in the cold
And listen to the tale of life being told

The pages of history are bloody to hear
Listen, and everything shines so clear
There’s so much in this world to fear
And so much more you have to bear

Happy Birthday Muxai!!!

2007-10-11T09:30:00.000-07:00

There are so many a things
Laid aside in front of me
Everything to make a world
Everything to be happy

But I never grab opportunity
‘Cause I’m blind, letting it be
Maybe for sure I ain’t happy
Cause I never used to see…

And now I know
When you look you realize
So many things you never saw
Standing right there in front of you

All you’ve to do is take
Thanking the god for all he gave
Knowing happiness doesn’t last
But you can enjoy before it could pass

You are one such gift for me
And I’m grateful, I want you to see
I can never put in words
How much you mean even in thoughts

So I’ll just make it short
Wish you’re a Happy thirteenth of sorts
Hope this year will bring in light
Hope it’s fun, a beautiful sight…

Life Impossible

2007-10-11T09:02:00.000-07:00

To everyone reading this, Happy Eid. =^_^=. Enjoy to the fullest!

I believed it was
The best there is
To live a life
In innocence strife

Never had the luck
My life still sucks
Wonder why we differ
Why does fate favor another?

Dunno when it began
Dunno why I still can
Dream of life impossible
Wonder if it's able...

Tortured n Bleedin

2007-10-08T09:58:00.001-07:00

Feel alone and lost
Though I wonder why
No sufficient a reason
That just seems a lie

Alone in the crowd
Is how I feel
No one really cares
Whether I heal

Feel patience is lost
Need to get a life
Every thing around
Seems like a sharp knife

Cannot care less
Cannot give a damn
Tortured and bleeding
That's just the way I am

Start Of Something New

2007-10-04T09:47:00.000-07:00

A song that has been playing through my mind for a long, long time...Living in my own world
Didn't understand
That anything can happen
When you take a chance
I never believed in
What I couldn't see
I never opened my heart yeah!!
To all the possibilities
I know that something has changed
Never felt this way
And right here tonight

This could be the start
Of something new
It feels so right
To be here with you
And now looking in your eyes
I feel in my heart
The start of something new

Now who'd of ever thought that
We'd both be here tonight
And the world looks so much brighter
With you by my side
I know that something has changed
Never felt this way
I know it for real

This could be the start
Of something new
It feels so right
To be here with you
And now looking in your eyes
I feel in my heart
The start of something new

I never knew that it could happen
Till it happened to me
I didn't know it before
But now it's easy to see

It's a start
Of something new
It feels so right
To be here with you
And now looking in your eyes
I feel in my heart

That it's the start
Of something new
It feels so right
To be here with you
And now looking in your eyes
I feel in my heart
The start of something new
Start of something new

Stupid Me

2007-10-01T11:53:00.000-07:00

I feel crazy right now. So I wrote a stupid poem. Stupid poem, buh true. Enjoy. ^_^

My mind is blank
I feel dank
I got a stupid rank
That is kept in a bank
My mind is a whirlwind
Cannot you hear it sing?
It’s growing heavier now
Maybe it’s back, you never know
My mind is nothing
I feel oddly light
And now a pain is seeping in
But my mind is still dull and din
Is it made of substance?
Its kindah feels tense
Or maybe I am imagining
For in reality, my mind is still nil
So I imagine thought
I imagine words
I imagine I feel
I imagine I think
This imagining is scary
But i only imagine so
Maybe that's why its creepy
Because I imagine tht too
So that’s why I dnt trust my mind
But my heart, deep inside
I trust it to never imagine or lie
And I know it never will

Words Fail

2007-09-29T08:57:00.000-07:00

Every drop of rain
That falls from the sky tonight
Signifies my love for you
A forceful power and might

I'm trying to put into words
Things I can't explain
Everyone knows that I would
Most likely fail

I've just learned that if you love
You mostly end up in tears
But as long as your love is happy
You no longer care

I wish I could change the world
So everything that hurts you would go away
If only it was in my power to make sure
They never come again another day

I want to say a whole deal more
I only can't find the correct words
I only hope you know what I mean
What I try to say but fail...

All My Love

2007-09-28T11:45:00.000-07:00

I can hear you whisper
But you can't hear me scream
Sometimes I wonder why I live
While you flit through all my dreams

I can't even begin to explain
Why you are my everything
When it comes to you, words just fail
Cannot you hear my heart beating?

I just wanna ask you again
Why can't I be the new beginning?
Is it cause you find it hard
To move from past endings?

Do you not know how I hurt inside?
Day by day, I cry for you at night
Cannot you feel my love, my dear?
Isn't it near, but out of sight?

Haven't you known all along?
My heart, to you it just belongs
Isn't my love enough for you?
Cannot I stand by you through?

What do I have do to to prove
I need you more than ever now?
Haven't I proved my love for you?
I suppose you already know...

You know I never stopped loving you
Even when I just hid it inside
Sometimes I find it hard to face
So I often run away to hide

I may be here for you now
But tomorrow I may be gone
Though as a friend I'll always stay
Another might come and take me home

But know that I'll always love you dear
Forever and ever, I'll be true
If I cannot be your lover, I'll be the great friend
I'll just end this poem then, with all my love for you

Source: Sasuke Uchiha

Not Named - Yet!

2007-09-28T09:20:00.001-07:00

When nights are dark and cold
And pain I can no longer bear
I think of your arms around me
And I no longer have anything to fear

When I loose my footing along my path
When I know fate has been cruel
I can hear your voice asking to go on
So the hardships I try to duel

When I cry myself to sleep at night
My heart screaming out unheard cries
The only thing that calms me
Are your words more than my lies

When I want to run away from my life
When I want nothing else but to hide
You hold me close and whisper
You’re with me along me for the ride

When nothing seems to go right
When everything falls apart
You’re there to make sure I don’t fall
Your soul lives in my heart

When I feel alone in the crowd
And my dreams come shattering down
You kiss me awake from my nightmares
And make sure I don’t break down

Happy Birthday, Lil One

2007-09-28T06:18:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was my little sister, Dizzie's birthday. So this is like, one of my gifts for her. I know I'm a bit late, but I couldn't post yesterday, since I was in a sorry state. Anyways, Happy 12th, girl. Enjoy the upcoming year and have a blast! ^_^. Our blessings go with you!

Woven with love and care
It’s your presence we adore
And even though you can be snappy
You’re also lively and happy

So we take this opportunity
To wish you a very merry
Happy birthday dear lil one
May you be blessed and life be fun

Lots of love, hugs and kisses : Ish, Assa n Ummi
Your annoyin three sistah's!

Out Of Place

2007-09-26T08:52:00.000-07:00

This poem isn't a work of fantasy, more of how I feel right now. And yeah, I should mention, this is teh hundredth post! After three months of hard labor...I feel detached
Far away from this world
Can feel my heart beat irregular
Why is everything so cold?

I find myself unable
To make sense of place and time
I can see things happening
As clear as daytime

I can feel my heart grow heavy
And rest in cold darkness
Feel empty and hallow inside
The pain just seems endless

Everything is a blur now
Nothing would make sense
Seems I am in a different dimension
Away from all lively presence

This World Ain't Forever

2007-09-24T07:24:00.000-07:00

Feel the beat
Of painful heat
Watch the shadows
Through dark doors
Feel the breath
Of severe death
Hear the call
Of humanities fall
Watch and learn
As you forget fun
Know the world
Is truly cold
Start creating illusions
Begin dreaming on
You'll know if you're clever
This world doesn't last forever

All I Need

2007-09-23T07:46:00.000-07:00

All I have to ask

All I need to know

Everything I need

I find it there with you

Days and ages pass

This love will surely last

All I need to be

Is standing next to you

My heart has died before

Broken hearts no longer new

Hand in hand with you

Completes up my world

Careless Mess

2007-09-21T06:52:00.000-07:00

Need a way to escape
When no longer able to cope
Darkness is all that surrounds
When ever I look around

There are so much I want to forget
And so much more I need to get
Fate has never been yet kind
But it's our hearts is where we find

There's so much I want to ask
But it seems such a difficult task
I know my life's a pathetic mess
Because I've been careless

Hurts...

2007-09-21T03:53:00.000-07:00

It hurts, you know
Hurts so much more
Feel torn apart
Feel stabbed in the heart

Feel cheated by time
And so much like slime
What was my crime?
Oh, what here is prime...

Dunno the truth from the lies
Dunno why the tears never dry
Dunno why it hurts so much inside
Dunno why I feel so afraid

Mistakes I have made
Was this one?
Whatever I did
Wasn't just for fun

It's killing me inside
Lemme die with the tide
Facing what comes ahead
Is harder than being dead

Remember You...

2007-09-20T04:38:00.001-07:00

When I started off this song, but half way through, I asked Manaal to write it with me. So me and Manaal combined and wrote this together, and I guess she made it fun. Yellow is her....

Never wanted you to go away
Lotta stuff I'd wanted to say
Seems I was a tad too late
When I realized I'd made a grave mistake

So much I wanted you to know
You're the one I long for
Sleepless nights I've cried for you
There was so much I wanted to do

Feel so broken without you
Life has lost all meaning too
Do you really manage my absence?
Although I moan for your presence?

Your memories keep me alive
Like the moments you've given me fives
This is sweet, don't you think?
I can see your stunning eyes blink.

I recall the times we've been through
Like the time we both went to poo
Who cares about it though?
It was just me and you

Why did you have to leave?
We'd last forever, I used to believe
I'll chase you, I promise
And sure will give you a kiss

I Can Say...

2007-09-18T10:48:00.000-07:00

Well, some might say the poem is lame or crappy or whatever but I just wrote what I wanted to write when I felt like writing it. ^_^. Dedication to... er... sumone. :P Go Figure.
I can say I miss you
I can say it hurts
But you're totally worth it
I don't give up in battle of hearts

I can say I need you
I can say it's driving me insane
But you're totally worth it
I ain't playing no games

I can say I want you
I can say you complete me
I wouldn't be wrong if I said so
You're a part of me...

I can say I know you
I totally understand
I know what you go through
So I ask you to hold my hand

I can say I love you
I can say I care
I can say so much more
But for now, I'll end here

Words

2007-09-18T07:37:00.000-07:00

Long time no updates. Sorry, guys, but I've been really 'busy'. But well, here goes nothing.... Words can never describe
What I really mean to say
ABC's make no sense
I wish I had another way

The likes of a soft touch
A searing look that pierces through
Would explain just so much
More than words can ever do

Words are such a waste of time
If only there was another way
To tell you all I feel and think
So you can understand what I really mean to say

We'll Find A Way...

2007-09-13T03:30:00.001-07:00

This ain't for anyone or anything. Or maybe it is... but I dunno whom it is for either ^^'.Clouds obscure my line of vision
But yet I can see
The pain and hurt you go through
The things you desperately want to flee

The nightmares that awaken you every night
The way you just want to take flight
I know life’s been harsh on you dear
I can see everything quite so clear

If nothing else helps, take my hand
If no one else’s there, I’ll be the friend
You don’t have to suffer with me by your side
If life is ruthless, I’m with you for the ride

Times will change, we’ll find a day
When everything that hurts will go away
When no longer will you have to suffer again
I’ll make sure you don’t go through any pain

Stay With Me...

2007-09-11T02:25:00.000-07:00

I miss the feel of your arms
Holding me close, holding me warm
I wish I was there beside thee
I love the way we fit – you and me

Tears won’t fall
But there’s no reason to cry
The world is quite small
Feel my tears fall from the sky...

I know where I stand
And where I’ve been in the past…
So lend me a helping hand
Don’t make me feel like an outcast…

The sun won’t shine
But there’s still light to see me through…
I would say I’m doing just fine…
I dunno what I am supposed to do…

Hold my hand
And join my footsteps too…
Don’t want you as just a friend
What is given is just a clue…

I know I’m afraid
But I’ve learned to let go of fear
What I want just can’t be said
Stay with me my dear…

Source: ....

For You....

2007-09-08T00:37:00.000-07:00

There came a time
That has long passed by
When I wished you were mine
You were my one and only

My love for you
Never passed or died
I still feel you within me
For you I’ve cried

Hell fires can’t extinguish
The flames you started
Though our love never grew old
You leave me down hearted

My love, I still cry for you
You’re my every thing
The reason why I do what I do
For you I’ve kept going…

I’ve seen you hurt
I’ve seen you in pain
I don’t wanna see
That sight ever again

I’ve seen you smile
I’ve heard you laugh
A sound I treasure
Among all other

I can’t give reasons
I can’t give excuses
For why I love thee
So lemme love you, lemme be…

For you pain and hurt
Is nothing
For you I’d give up
Anything….

Source: Sasuke

A Little Something

2007-09-07T03:58:00.000-07:00

No updates in a long time, eh? That's cox I haven't been able to come up with any. So lemme try something now, eh?

To remember you
Is no impossible feat
You're in every breath
Every heart beat

The time has gone
When love was blind
You don't get what you want
But what you find

I am no longer here
But far away
These are not white lies
As you may say

I've lost all the things
That made me me
But now I've started again
And let me be

I'm alone now
But you're still here
I know you won't leave
I know you really care

The world had ended
Leaving us all alone
I can feel it in your breath
In your voice, and tone

No barriers to cross
No dreams to find
None at all right now
Because fate's not kind

I wish the world would start
All over again
So that we all can live
Without our past pains

I LOVE YOU

2007-09-03T09:30:00.000-07:00

Three simple words

Yet in them they hold

A heart beating in rhythm

With love and passion

Holding promises for a time

When you won’t feel like slime

Something real and strong

That it can do no wrong

Yeah I love you

It’s what you make me do

Yeah I love you

These words are simple yet true

And I want to feel your arms again

They drive away all hurt and pain

And I want to kiss your lips anew

Those kisses I preserve only for you

I miss you already

But I’ll keep going steady

Cause I love you

And for you, I’ll be true

Breakin Down....

2007-09-01T03:06:00.000-07:00

Tears. They just won’t spill.

Though I feel like breaking down…

…and crying.

Smiles. They’ve lost all meaning.

Though I’ve tried my best to understand…

… am sick of trying.

Words. There’s just so much to say.

What you want, too impossible to express…

… with mere words.

Touches. Softly gracing the soul

I need to feel your arms around me…

… stronger than words…

I need…

To break down and cry…

… am weak… so weak…

Strong. A word…

…mere word…keeps me standing…

..thank you…

Here In Your Arms...

2007-09-01T02:52:00.001-07:00

Often times I find I’m wondering
Whether I do belong
For every time I join along company
It just seems so wrong

When it seems I’m surrounded by laughter
I can never join in
I feel myself out of space and time
I wonder whether I have a kin

For no matter where I go
The stories the same
It seems I do not belong
I keep playing an endless game

When no one understands inner thought
I just let them enjoy frivolous time
For if I utter aloud what I think
The looks I receive are worthy of crime

So I go around asking
To the breeze and the wind
Is there anywhere I belong?
Till I’m sure I’m out of my mind

Until the day I found myself in your arms
There I found I belong
You understand me better than I myself
I wish our love would last long

Gosh...

2007-09-01T01:29:00.000-07:00

If I can put into words
All you make me do
Perhaps you’d understand
Reasons I seek for you

Love itself found new meaning
The day that I found you
And overtime the seed you planted
Has blossomed with fruits out of the blue

Never can it be put into ink
These untamed feelings you arouse
You’ve become part of my living
You’ve become an essential source

Pls....

2007-08-31T00:26:00.000-07:00

Kill Me....

Reasons.. Not Good Enough...

2007-08-31T00:21:00.000-07:00

Maybe the reason I’m so careful
Of not letting people in
Is because I’m afraid of broken hearts
And deep ache and pain

I’ve had more than my share of hurt
That I don’t want to experience it again
I don’t know what the outcome would be
I don’t know what I plan to gain

And even when the doors open
For you to step right in
There are other obstacles that would stop you
From moving all the way in

That’s just the way I’ve made it be
That’s the reason you don’t know me
It’s all because of fear and loss
That my barriers you can never cross

My Dearest "Teacher"

2007-08-28T02:00:00.001-07:00

This poem is for ma lil bro, good friend and kiddo, Umar "Manchester United" Ali. Kiddo, be happy, stay happy, live happy... ^_^

Hey teacher
Here’s the poem I promised for later
Thanks for waiting so patiently
I just needed time to do it correctly

Boy, you’re one heck of a person!
You made me scream, yell and finally run
You’re just so cool, get out of grade five!
Or I’ll come running after you with a bee hive!

When you laugh, it matters not you’re cute
Your smile and you are a perfect suit
Come on now; don’t say this isn’t a poem
This is all I seem to manage after the outcome

You ain’t just a friend, but my little brother too
Am sorry if I ever did anything to hurt you
You ain’t just the kid I met in a play one day
You’re a kid who walked with me along the way

And this poem will now come to its conclusion
But I hope you’re happy, this wasn’t an illusion
My brother, stay and live happily
So when I’m an old granny I can invite you to tea!!!!!

L.O.S.T

2007-08-27T02:12:00.001-07:00

It feels so new
This pain inside
I just wanna run
Away and hide

I need a new route
Away from pain
But whenever I escape
Am pulled back again

I feel so lost
Nothing makes sense
Nothings going right
I’ve lost my conscience

Wish I were there
Huddled in your arms
I know I’ll be safe
You’ll protect me from harm

But until then
I’ll just have to cope alone
Following a path
Dangerous and unknown

Dear Pathetically Weak Commenters....

2007-08-26T07:43:00.001-07:00

As many of you have noticed, I’m in the receiving end of unnaturally sarcastic and desperately foolish comments these past few days. [weeks? Months? Hmm…] And I guess I just want to ‘say something’ to all those. Please attempt to get/steal/borrow a life as soon as possible ^_^. I wonder what you see in me that makes you guys run after me like moths drawn to a light lamp. And for the record, last time I checked, I am NOT a light lamp, and neither are you guys moths >_>. I know. I know. I ain’t the most popular girl or neither am I perfect. I’ve often considered myself a bitch. What I truly am though, only few have the honor of knowing. [If you consider it a honor, that is] The way you guys comment … it doesn’t ‘get to’ me, but what bothers is me is how cum you guys are so desperate to show to the world what I rotten egg I am. And for the record, I ain’t cheating on anyone either. And cowards though you guys are, I request you guys to tell me your real name, which I doubt you will. After all, you guys are so faint hearted and pathetically weak, all you can do is mock people behind their back, hidden and safe. What happened to the good old direct approach, eh? Come on, would you guys even dare come up to me in the halls and go all, “Hey Isha Afeef, I hate you, etc, etc. You are the most foni person I ever met, etc, etc. Go get a life, etc, etc…

Call Me Insane

2007-08-26T07:18:00.000-07:00

Call this a song? I dunno. I dunno what else to call it. Just wrote it while doing B-O-R-I-N-G maths sums and feeling unnaturally heartsick. It has no deep meaning in it, really. M not dedicating it to anyone or writing it because/for someone either. It's just... something... that goes with music ^_^. Anyways, enjoy!

You asked me the day
When we met on our way
‘Could you love me as more than a friend?’
I answered with a smile
That I might be fragile
But I would love you till the very end

Can you ever forgive me?
For the deed I did to thee
Call me insane, I may’ve been out of my mind
But now I truly regret
Because of terms I never met
The loss of a friend who’s one of a kind

I am sorry if I ever led you on
I’m sorry for the promises I couldn’t keep on
For the sake of old times, when passion was just fine
My dear, forgive me for the pain…

Will you ever forgive me?
For the pain I caused to thee?
Call me insane, I’ve just lost my mind
When I lost you, who’s one of a kind…

I never meant any pain, I never meant any harm
My dear, I wish I was back in your arms
But fate has been cruel, as it parted our hearts
And now we… are meant to stay apart…

…Call me insane….

You Can't Leave...

2007-08-26T02:16:00.000-07:00

I cannot ignore wild feelings
When they’re so new to me
You make me feel untamed emotions
That are weirdly fresh and free

I never thought it possible
Until you made me feel
And opened my eyes to a new world
That needs no lock to seal

And now that I’ve sought you out
Am not gonna let you leave
I’ll lock you up within my heart
And hide it under my sleeve

The Next Step...?

2007-08-23T02:28:00.000-07:00

When nothing shines clear
When you’re left alone to bear
And you can’t decide what is right
Would you give in to the fight?

Torn apart from deep inside
I just want to escape with the tide
For me, it’s tough to face ahead
When it’s too easy to lay back

It’s hard to take the next step
When you don’t know what lies ahead
Would it end in broken hearts?
Or would it totally tear me apart?

...I Want You....

2007-08-22T10:15:00.000-07:00

I could only have so much…
When I crave for so much more
I seek for one to hold onto
And it’s making me bleed and sore

In your arms I want to dwell
In your arms I want to stay
But so far desires left unfulfilled
But for you I seem to pray

Just one hug, if I could have it
Just one kiss, would mean so
If only I could wrap you in my arms
If only I could never let you go…

I Want You…

Source: ......

Accurate... About Me?

2007-08-21T22:59:00.000-07:00

Bits and Peices

2007-08-20T06:41:00.000-07:00

I wrote this with ma friend, LD. In it, he counters whatever i say and vice versa. That asshole... m gonna miss him... a lot when he goes.. but till then...

Girl: Your happiness is my pleasure
Your laughter what I treasure

Hope that smile never leaves your face

Not for a thousand years, or many a days

Boy: My poems they show my true heart

Happiness and joy is my true art

I paint your life, aren't there joy now?

Was it not before my touch in sorrow?

Girl: Your words are what I heed

Your warmth all I need

The joy in those tears, that you so reluctantly share
Just shows how much you care...

Boy: I ain't a perfect person, but i try to make your life near-perfect...

It's just who I am I guess... I am an artist with a defect...

Love like no other, smile like no other, care like no other...

It's my way of life... the path I follow... My life? I barely bother...

Girl: You tread so carefully looking for light
You always search for what is right

If only i knew even half the tale

I wouldn't be here, maybe caught in a dale...

Ocean of Tranquility

2007-08-16T07:54:00.000-07:00

In the sea of tranquility
Hushed thoughts drift out of sight
Soft words and lessons learnt
Being carried away to their palace right
You hear the faint voice of few
Emotions and inquiries
And the desperate pleading tone of
Requests and apologies
In this ocean vast and deep
You can see things crystal clear
Nothing arouses suspicion or confusion
Nothing will bring a desperate tear
If only life was even near this perfect
If only things would shine that clear
I bet there’d be nothing we have to agonize
I bet there’d be nothing to worry and fear

If Only You Knew..

2007-08-16T07:50:00.000-07:00

[I dunno whether this pic matches the poem or not.. I just posted a pic of how i sorta feel right now...]

If only you knew
What I hide deep inside
Perhaps you’d understand
The reason why I desperately hide

If only you knew
The sorrows I’ve endured
The pain which was pleasure
You’ll understand why I can’t be cured

If only you knew
The tears I’ve wept
For reasons I can only say
Are meant to be kept

If only you knew
The truth of my tale
You’ll understand better
The moral of the fable

If only you knew
What I keep within my heart
Perhaps you’ll understand the reasonWhy I’m completely torn apart

If only you knew
What I’ve kept away from you
You’ll only walk away, I guess
Leaving me lone, cold and blue…

Source: A damn lotta people...

ATTENTION AXMAN!!!

2007-08-09T06:14:00.000-07:00

I dedicate this poem to a close friend of mine.. guess who :P. Yep Axey, this one's for you... after all the begging and inspiration, it's finally out... Enjoy...
You used to be a good friend
But now you’re even better
You used to be far far away
But now we’re in this together

There are times we fight
When our friendship comes to an end
But then we start it anew
And you’d be a new best friend

There are eras when
Neither of us understands
But then we would lend each other the hand
That helps us to stably stand

I must admit, it is a pleasure
To have one such as you as a brother
As the friend who’s ever so much..
And much much more…

A Little Peice of Nothing

2007-08-09T05:43:00.001-07:00

I've been asked over and over again to update :P. So here it is: A little peice of nothing i made with a kewl new friend. Thank you, friend, for all you've done in the short time we've met, and for so much more. ^_^

You don’t have to tell me

So what shall my poetry be

I think it’s gonna be of love

that I try so hard to prove

I love you not on the skin

But also deep within

I love you and I ain’t afraid
These words are clean and straight

You say that now, is it timeless?

Then I shall be the first to bless

Two hearts joined, or is it?

Do the two pieces fit?

I know deep within my heart

That we weren’t meant to be apart

Two souls joined together over time
I am proud I can say that you are mine

How long shall it last...

Will it die and burn fast?

Happiness you say you seek, true?

Maybe its right in front of you juts a clue...

My heaven.. Can’t you see it’s with you?
This ain’t fake; my love is pure and true
My love, the day we part
I swear that I would fall apart

Sorry...

2007-08-07T09:19:00.001-07:00

I have my flaws, weakening my life
But know I never meant any pain
I never meant to hurt if ever I did
You know I’ve got nothing to gain

You know I’m tough, I won’t contradict
You know I take life too hard
You know I can be mean, with no regret
You knew all these from the start

I’m sorry if I hurt you in any way
But know that I do my best
I would no longer try, but learn the hard way
I just hope I win this quest

Source: M.M

With Apologies...

2007-08-07T03:00:00.000-07:00

Call me a bitch, but I can't help it. No comments on this, please...

I fell a pray to you soft allure
You captivate me in a dreamy stance
My desire for thee often burns anew
You know I never had a real chance

I know I should never again complain
For love as I have is rare indeed
Yet time and time again, it’s just…
…To write more I think there’s no need

Source: Go figure...

May I Feel...

2007-08-04T04:14:00.000-07:00

I was going through a bunch of poems when i came across this. It's hilarious and quite intresting! I hope you guys enjoy!

may i feel said he

(i'll squeal said she

just once said he)

it's fun said she
(may i touch said he

how much said she

a lot said he)

why not said she
(let's go said he

not too far said she

what's too far said he

where you are said she)
may i stay said he

(which way said she

like this said he

if you kiss said she
may i move said he

is it love said she)

if you're willing said he

(but you're killing said she
but it's life said he

but your wife said she

now said he)

ow said she
(tiptop said he

don't stop said she

oh no said he)

go slow said she
(cccome?said he

ummm said she)

you're divine!said he

(you are Mine said she)

e e cummings

Lol....?

2007-07-28T11:08:00.000-07:00

I just wanted to say...these peoms aren't a work of art or fiction. I don't write them just to waste time. They're a part of me. Oh yeah...a part of me...exposed....i feel uneasy in doing so, yet i think it's better to do so. Just...don't THINK anything about this.... i mean, think think in....as in...THINK.

I just hope you get my point. They're a part of me since they're of my experiences, mistakes and life. They're a HUGE part of me and in exposing myself so, i give you a chance to USE these stuff AGAINST me.

oh, for laughing out loud, i sound ridiculous! As Muxai would say: Lol!^_^

Missing You...

2007-07-28T10:44:00.000-07:00

Memories adrift of you and me
I keep remembering how it used to be
I remember your warmth and your touch
I remember the kisses just as much
I remember every word you said that day
I remember your smiles in every way
I remember your voice, that embrace we shared
I remember the way the flames just flared
I remember how wonderful it used to be
When we sat in our world, just you and me
I remember them not because I like that day
It’s just that I love you in every way
All I seem to be able is thinking of you
Maybe it’s a disease or love that’s true
And right now I sit here missing you so
And yet like I good girl, I’ll work hard though
So that one day I might not have to remember
So that someday we can just kiss the memories anew

Love

2007-07-28T10:42:00.000-07:00

Love ain’t just a mere word to utter
It’s a force stronger than everything else
It passes through age and time untouched
It’s not just a brief passing phase

Love ain’t just an expression of warmth
It’s strong in self and deep in depth
It’s a force that is lives and grows with time
Its might can even overcome death

Love does not envy or boast
But is merely satisfied with what it has
Love is bright, intense and sincere
And alights ones life with its great rays

Love cannot be described in full sense
It can be silly, tender and content
Love is trust, rebirth and maturity
Love is all this and it ain’t